the Rise and Fall of Pyro
by shadow-of-a-pyro
Summary: warning: abuse to pyro. including getting cured unwillingly, and getting the crap beat outta him. Slash later on, future lemon or is it lime? abuse mentioned, swears, little of johns past ,John is an Uke, BobbyJohn yaoiness.and a smart Pyro.post X3 HIATUS
1. how the mighty have fallen

**Warning: major abuse towards Pyro. includes getting "cured" unwillingly, getting the shitake mushrooms kicked out of him . Slash later on, Future lemon (or is it lime?) Abuse, swears, John is an uke, and BobbyJohn-ness and a few spoilers of X3. AU**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters of this story, I only own the fact that I'm a sadist, cause well I am. I apologize to all the pyro fans here for chapter one I'm a pyro fan to but I needed this to happen for the plot. VIVA BOBBYJOHN! this is basically the prologue for what gonna happen. the rest may not be in Point of View format.**

**To the readers: any of you who has an idea for the story or wanna help just say it in a review or Email me, your idea could help me with the story**

**The Rise and Fall of Pyro  
chapter one: everything changes**

John's POV

The city's bigger than I remembered, I tread past the old movie theater where me and Bobby used to hang out before _she_ came along, Rogue or _Marie_, or whatever she's calling herself these days. She ruined everything! Bobby and I always hung out around the mansion, or around anywhere in general till she came and he barely said a word to me.

Even though we still hung out it was almost as if he was watching me making sure I didn't do anything stupid like torch a building or something like that. But that doesn't matter anymore. I'm a terrorist and he's a 'Hero'. I still wonder how the hell he learned how to head-butt like that. It's been almost two months and I still have a huge bruise and not to mention the gash on my head, which is now finally dressed and partially covered by my brown bangs. Yeah, I let my hair go back to its natural color. The police are looking for a blond Pyro not a brunette one.

I look down to my right arm beneath my jacket on my wrist is my fire mechanism. The medium of my mutation; without it, much to my dismay, I'm powerless. Heh, look at me, One of the most wanted mutant terrorists actually hiding. Four months ago I would never even think of hiding. Now? here I am, walking down a street in the middle of Autumn wearing a thick down coat, a Yankees hat, and shades. I don't even know why I picked a Yankees hat. Hell, I don't even like baseball.

I continue to travel down this 'memory lane', and pass the run down radio shack, which to my surprise its still open. I find myself staring as the display TVs still playing the events of the Alcatraz incident over. The next part of the news show caught my eye "Authorities still have yet to catch the mutant, Saint John Allerdyce also known as 'Pyro'. John remains top priority on the ten most wanted mutants list and has eluded police for the past 2 months. If you find this mutant call police immediately do not attempt to capture him on your own, he is to be considered armed and extremely dangerous."

If this were four months ago I'd have sneered at the comment. Then again after the Alcatraz incident nothing the same, Hell, I'm not the same. I'm different than that arrogant teen I once was. Now I see the truth, I made a huge mistake three years ago. I realized this after seeing Magneto just cast Mystique aside after she took a shot that was meant for him! He didn't care about us; we were expendable. However I was too much of a coward to turn my back on him, sure I'd be killed.

Yeah, try having everything you believe in blown up in your face and having to fight your best friend! Tell me if you're the same after that! I'm through trusting people, the only one you can trust is yourself that's rule number one about living on the streets.

The sun's going down, it should be safe to light a fire now, I take my shades off as I head down an abandoned alleyway, a quick glance back to make sure no one's looking. Taking one of the trashcan lids off with one hand, I flicked the flint wheel on my glove of my opposite hand to create a flame and created a small bonfire. I thought I'd done this discretely but I guess not because no more than three minutes later I heard some woman yell "It's him! It's that Pyro freak!" now I resent that, I'm not a freak.

I hear the sirens and start to panic. My mind is racing so I do the first thing that came to mind, I ran. I don't know where I'm going but I have to get away fast. I begin shoving my way through a thick crowd of people. The siren's only getting louder, it sounds as though its only inches away from me. I now know how the character from 'The Tell-Tale Heart' feels. As someone jolted into my shoulder something in me snapped and I flicked the flint wheel of my glove again and just started torching people, my mind was stuck in a memory of three years ago at Bobby's house when those cop's tried to kill us and shot Wolverine.

By the time I realize what I'd done the horrid stench of burnt flesh fills my nose, I nearly gag. the sirens seem louder than ever, I change my direction and run for a few blocks. I'm not even paying attention to where I am, I'm only focusing on getting away from the sirens with seem to be fading. I slow down a little and finally get a glimpse of my surroundings this place looks like a dump. I start thinking about the institute, yeah I'm less than half a mile away. but, I doubt they'll let me in, they'll probably turn me in and make me get 'cured'.

I'm pulled from my thoughts as I feel a pin prick in my arm much like….oh shit! I glance down, shocked that I see a dart in my arm. I barely even have time to react before my legs give out, I'm on my hands and knees as a burning feeling more intense then the fire I wield spread throughout my body, I stifle a cry of agony as the feeling intensifies tenfold. My minds going fuzzy, I can barely tell what's going on now but I know I'm on the ground in the fetal position.

I see two blurry figures speaking to one another. the sensation passes and I blink rapidly to regain my vision. I now see two people, two men, standing over me; ones holding a cure gun the other just staring at me. I cant believe what just happened! I Refuse to! "not so tough now are you mutant!" the one with the gun sneered. Before I could say anything the other man kicked me right in the rib, I could have sworn I heard a 'crack'. I hiss in pain. " oh…did I hurt you? Good" he kicked me again. Fuck! that hurt like hell, I think I can taste blood.

I try to stand but the sharp pain in my side keeps me down. "aww is the widdle mutant injured?" the one with the gun taunted. I flick the flint wheel of my glove, a small flame comes, but it only burns my hand. It did happen, I've been 'cured'. and now I'm officially screwed. The man with the gun grabbed my hair and pulled me up "looks like someone got a piece of him before" he pokes the bandages on my head, a flash of colors appear before my eyes. I groaned that hurt like hell. "Shut up!" he hit my wound harder and I'm sent back down to the ground. My consciousness begins to drift as I murmur the only name I could think of "….bobby, help me"


	2. The Mercy of the Betrayed

**AN: **may be a 'little' ooc on ….everyone's part longer chapter. Severe case of writers block is why this wasn't up sooner sorry everyone

**AN2:** all of this chapter was written while listening to my new 'Panic! At the Disco CD' (I own a copy of the CD, not Panic! At the Disco)

**AN3: **sorry for this taking so long, my comp crashed and I lost all my info, took a while to get it back. And this has to be a big chapter seeing as Johnny-boy's unconscious.

**Akari-Hayashi**- thank you SOO much for your help with the story so far, u rock!  
And major props to my beta, and best friend, Keito (not from this site)

Bobby's POV   
"Rogue, for the last time I'm just going out for a walk!" I shout as I leave the room, Jeeze she's been throwing fifty questions at me every time I do something. I know I shouldn't yell at her (I don't want her to sick Logan on me) but she just gets so annoying after a while that I just cant help it. "sorry Marie" I mumble as I walk away from her room. I smile and acknowledge at the few people in the hall ways as I near the foyer.

"trouble in paradise. Eh, Icecube?" said a drawling voice, wonderful, it's Logan "so you heard?" I say flatly. He laughs. "you don't need heightened senses to hear that scream-fest". its funny I though he'd have made me into human sushi, for lack of a better term, by now for hurting 'his precious' Rogue's feelings. "whatever I'm going out" I sigh and head out the door, surprisingly he's not pushing it any further. I pass the front gate of the institute, I've been doing this a lot lately; just going off and coming back hours later, that hasn't helped the whole 'Rogue asking fifty million questions' thing, but it helps to clear my head.

Random questions fill my head some as common as ' what day is it?' and 'what's for dinner?' to the questions that scare the hell out of me.. ' what happened to John…I mean, _Pyro_? Did he die?' No, John, I mean, _Pyro _is to stubborn to die. He had to have gotten away. but that Voice in the back of my head argues '_how could he have gotten away? You knocked him unconscious. you killed him' _NO! I didn't! I argue but I know its true, its my fault… I should have at least carried him off the island. We could have handed him over to authorities or at least tried to help him. I swear when we fought I didn't see a pyromaniacal criminal, I saw my best friend who just made a bad choice and realized it too late.

I stop walking, not even remembering walking this far, I'm already about half a mile away from the mansion. I glance around, "looks like the slums" I murmur as I look around the dim streets. that's when it hits me, a scent that I haven't inhaled for months. Burnt flesh. I turn the corner, there's an area marked off by the cops, and coroners placing remains of some bystanders into their vans. I manage to overhear the two cops "I don't get it, I thought he died at Alcatraz" the younger cop said flabbergasted. _John! _"well apparently he didn't, this has got Pyro written all over it" the elder shook his head.

I've heard enough, I walk past the crime scene as fast as possible, why did he do that? There had to have been a reason…but then again this is Jo-_Pyro _were talking about.. But even he wouldn't do something like that without a reason. I'm ripped from my thought as I hear a distant yell. I speed up, a sense of morbid curiosity kept my attention. I reach the area where the sound originated, this looks like the worst part of the slums, every building is tagged with graffiti, and eroded with half of the windows boarded up.

I hear two men talking from the alleyway, I walk as quietly as possible to the corner of one of the buildings an peer into the alleyway. There stood two men, and what appeared to be a third person on the ground. The man closest to the figure, kicked it once more. A choked cry of agony was heard. I've had enough, I step away from my hiding place and confront the two "What are you doing!". "It's none of your concern, boy. Just taking care of a certain mutant problem" I scowl at that statement "you think being a mutant is a problem?" I feel my fists begin to freeze. "what's it to you?" the second one said. "Nothing. but you just got another problem to deal with" I froze the one closest to the figure's arms.

His accomplice is trembling beside him, holding what looked like a plastic gun. The fear was apparent in his eyes, he hesitates. Perfect opportunity, I point my hand and instantly freeze the gun, he drops it and in an instant it shatters. "If you know what's good for you, you'll leave now while you have the chance" I said venomously. They took off running serves them right. My attention turns to the person on the ground.

He's laying on the ground on his back, head lolled to the side. My eyes widen as I actually look at the figure… Same brown hair, light tan complexion, and that glove.. It's John! His face is smeared with blood from an already blood soaked bandage wrapped around his head…but its him. I pick him up bridal style, only to hear him flinch and whimper in his sleep, _oh shit _"It's ok John. Its me, Bobby you'll be fine" I whisper to him hoping it'll calm him. I start off back to the mansion, Its not hard to carry him actually, he's really light.

After what seems line an eternity we arrive at the front gate, its closed I tread over to the intercom and move John ever so slightly so I can press the button "hello?" it was Kitty. "Kitty, I need you to open the gate, and tell Hank I need him to prep the med lab" "what are you doing out this late its like nine, what's w-" I cut her off "don't ask what's wrong just do it! Please.." "alright Bobby." the link ended and the front gate swung open.

John whimpers a little as I start up the steps. It almost breaks my heart to see him like this. There was Kitty alongside Piotr at the doorway. They stare at _Pyro_; I can see it in their eyes; a glint of hostility, quickly covered up with concern. "what happened?" Kitty's the first to ask. I honestly don't know what to say. "I don't know, I found him like this". He shifts in my arms, wincing once or twice. "you think it's a trap?" Piotr asks calmly. "no, I don't" I say surely. I don't think John, or Pyro for this matter, would act like this. No one could.

"did you tell Hank?" I ask seriously. "yeah, he should be ready, he said to come down when you got here" Kitty says as Piotr leads the way down to the med lab. Students flood the hallways trying to get a glimpse of the incapacitated traitor. They're hissing and cursing him, I silence then with a glare that could freeze the sun.

we reach the bottom floor of the mansion, Pyro is finally still. I'm not sure if I should be relieved or concerned. The Med Lab doors opened, there in the doorway stood Hank, thank God he came back after Alcatraz. He looks at Pyro, he looks unsure for a second but that quickly changes. "what happened?" he commands. "I'm not sure. I found him like this".

He moves out of the way and ushers me in. "you two go back upstairs". With that Kitty and Piotr were gone. "Robert, bring him over here" he motions to a bed. As gently as possible I place him on the bed. Just after that Hank's pushing me out the doors. "I need space to work. I'll call you when I have finished". And with that the doors close.

I do the only think I can think of, I go to my room, my haven. It used to be mine and John's until he left…and I never got a new roommate. I could never bring myself to get rid of his old stuff; his band posters, clothes, spare lighters, bed, all of its where he last left it. I don't know maybe I was waiting to see if he'd come back _heh, I guess he did_. I begin pacing around the room, time flies and before I knew it, it's its almost midnight. The static from the intercom by the door, a new addition Storm added to every room, startles me before Hank's voice called out " Robert, come down to the conference room please". I rush out of my room not bothering to close the door, not caring about that because barely anyone's awake now anyways. I turn the corner to the elevator and mentally curse the elevator for being so slow.

I practically sprint out of the elevator and down the corridor to the room. The doors opened expectantly. " how is he?" I ask as I enter the room. Wait, why is _she _doing here? "Storm what are you doing here?" I ask, what I'm curious?. A wave of dread hits me like a tidal wave, what if they want to give him to the cops?… "I'm here about John" she says simply. I turn my attention to Hank. "what's wrong with him?".

He fixes his glasses, "Robert, St. John sustained two broken ribs personally I was surprised he didn't puncture his lungs, a concussion most likely due to the gash near his left temple, a broken leg of unknown origin. But those aren't why I called Storm down here" he pauses. "what are they?". "well, he has a small puncture mark on his arm here, but I actually overlooked that at first, until I came to the next injury, the rather large burn mark on the palm of his right hand. This didn't make sense to me, a fire wielding mutant getting burnt. Until I put two and two together…" his voice trails off. ….wait.. He's-- "so your saying you think he was 'cured'" says Storm bitterly, making it no mystery just what she thinks of the so-called 'cure'

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oooh, cliffie. sorry this one took so long. had a bad case of Writers block. hopefully the next chapter will be done faster ( i already started on it) waddya think? sorry about the lack of Details... annnd How will John React to being human? you have a chance to choose, should he be:  
**A.** Mad at himself  
**B.** withdrawn  
**C.** kinda... well afraid ( he is powerless and they could kill him if they really wanted to)  
John: NO not afraid, Intimidated...  
Shadow: riiight  
or **D. a mix of some above choices (specify which ones)**

Majority Rules on this so, if u dont vote, i'll do what i want   



	3. the awakening

**Sorry long bout with Writers block, High school, and Creative Writing class, but I'm back! The long awaited John's POV!  
I have decided on how he is going to react (seeing as only a few people voted) it is going to be all three. A.** Mad at himself **B.** withdrawn and **C.** afraid  
**OOC-ness all around! ON WITH THE STORY! (by the way in the previous chapter it mentions a broken leg, completely disregard that)**

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John's POV

_My eyes flutter open, a quick look around I'm still in the alley. So he never came, I didn't think he would, but I could have sworn I heard him…I stumble to my feet. My head spins as the event of earlier replay in my mind. I feel so…empty. Like a huge piece of my life was just taken away- which it was. Ugh! I cant believe I'm such an idiot! Why'd I let my guard down! That was the first thing I found out when I went with Magneto; Don't let your guard down, I still have the scars to prove it._

_"I'm so pathetic. Me, Pyro, a human. No, it's not Pyro anymore, its back to being __him. St. John Allerdyce. Oh joy. Nothing special about him" just another rebel thrown out of his home by his abusive father and addict mother left to wander the streets. "Just another 'Nowhere kid' who dropped outta school. Another face in the crowd" I ramble. My eyes are blurring, tears threaten to fall, "Who cares? No one, that's who." I let them fall freely._

_-------------------------------------------------------------- _

"Pyro? hey Pyro, wake up" Bobby? I close my eyes again, a faint pain in my side stabs at me, I can feel someone shaking me gently. Ah! My head! I winced before opening my eyes, I don't believe it! "B-Bobby?" I say flabbergasted. I wasn't dreaming! I can still feel tears streaming down my face, damn it, I hate it when people see me crying. "yeah its me. You were having a nightmare, I think. You just started mumbling things then you… just started…well, crying" He began. His eyes show genuine concern.

Why is he acting like nothing happened? The tears stop falling by now, I clear my eyes. Now I realize I'm laying on my bed in our old room, must be hallucinating. I exhale sharply, and an fierce stab of pain shoots through me, I groan in pain, trying to regain my breath. It feels like I'm suffocating. Bobby rushes right over, probably trying to figure out what to do. "take it a few short breathes. It'll help" he commands, I manage a few shaky breaths before I can breathe normally, save for the pain in my ribs. God, my head hurts. I clutch my left side of my head in hopes to block it out, and quickly discover its been re-bandaged. Just in time for another wave of pain.

He rushes over to the dresser and takes out what seems like a bottle of pills and a bottle of water. If I weren't in so much pain I'd make a crack about him being a pill popper. He takes two pills out and reaches for the water "here take these, Hank said they'd help" What are they, poison?. "What are they? Poison?" I try to say acidly, but my throats dry and my voice cracked half way. "no _Pyro_, painkillers. Looks like you got really messed up, man." he ignores my remark.  
I turn to him to say something but he just looks at me persistently, still holding the pills and water. "fine, I'll take the damn pills" I croak. I take the two pills in my hand and pop them into my mouth, the bitter taste quickly washed away by the water. "give em a few minutes to kick in" Bobby advises, he pulls a chair beside the bed, sits down and starts twiddling his thumbs.  
An awkward silence envelops the room, he's looking down at the floor like his eyes were glues in place. The pain in my head dissipates "Bobby…." I begin, that got his attention. "if you have something to say… spit it out". his mouth opens to say something but quickly snaps shut. "you alright?". "that's all?… whatever". "look, _Pyro_ I'm just trying to help" his crystal blue eyes turn harsh. _why the hell's he calling me that? He's getting angry._ I shift uncomfortably, finally realizing he could kill me if he really wanted to. "its not Pyro anymore, he's dead" I say deadpan as I swallow the lump in my throat. "The names John" my voice cracks. _God I must look pathetic. _his eyes soften. "John…I'm sorry" my eyelids are getting heavier, _so…tired_ "Why… are you sorry…it's not….your…fault" I say before exhaustion overcomes me.

_Where am I? Oh yeah this is Magneto's old hideout. "hey pipsqueak, where are you?" a harsh voice said in the distance. Oh shit, its him. I sprint through the woods, going left and right in hopes of throwing him off. "It's no use, Johnny-boy, I'll find you. I can smell your fear". If I weren't so scared I'd wonder how the hell he can do that. I don't even have my Zippo either, I'm screwed. The scenery starts to blend, but I have to keep running, he's catching up. A quick look over my shoulder was all it took, and I tripped over a root and the ground came crashing towards me as I close my eyes and wait for an impact that never came. He had me by the collar of my shirt. Sabertooth. This was a routine, every time a mission failed or he was just pissed in general, which was quite often, he'd come looking for me; his personal punching bag. "if you beg I might go easy on you" this was a lie, I learned that day one. He balled his first and I waited for the inevitable_. . .

**_"_**John wake up!" My eyes shoot open, someone was hovering over me. I try to get away, but even trying to move is painful. "John snap out of it, its me, Bobby" Bobby? I immediately calm down. And look around the room, it was just a dream…"John, it was just having a nightmare, you alright?" sure if you mean recalling a fuckin mountain-man beating the shit out of you 'alright' then I'm just dandy. "_I'm fine!" _I say icily. "ok god, I was just wondering cause you've been sleeping for the past few days" he says simply. "h-how long?" I ask, the pain in my head is coming back. "bout two and a half days".

I close my eyes to try and block out the pain. "uh, Bobby can you get those pills….My head feels like its cracking open" without missing a beat he grabs the pills and bottle of water off the bedside table. After quickly downing two of them and polishing off the water, I look over to him. he looks… distressed. "did I do that?" he points to his forehead. "yes you did" I say simply. "I'm sorry" he murmured barely audible. "you it's not your fault" "yes it is!" I flinch at his tone and look away. "no it wasn't, it was my fault for joining Magneto in the first place. It wasn't your fault I got injured, It wasn't your fault I got shot, its not your fault I'm here now… and its not your fault I don't belong here, its all my fault." I murmur pitifully. "John…" his voice trails off, John what? 'John you do belong here'. "Save it for someone who cares _Iceman"_."No john, time for you to listen. It wasn't your fault. Sure you made a bad mistake but you have the chance to make it right now." you know, it's weird but he's actually right. "fine as much as it pains me to say it….your right". "I know I am" he smiles sweetly. You know he looks kinda cute…what the hell am I thinking!

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**Was it worth the wait? Did I kill it with the ending? C'mon I need some feedback….I've been gone for too long……PLEASE COMMENT!**


	4. truth and pain

**AN1: I'm so sorry its taken so long for me to type this… I have a good reasons!! One; I was out with an injured hand (cast and everything) and two; I got food poisoning Saturday and its still not quite outta my system and 3; a very personal issue meaning one of my friends attempted suicide and I've had a hard time coping with a guilt trip (what? I'm only 14 almost 15 ) ok well back to the story!  
if John seems to be having mood swings…that's part of the deal with having a concussion, I looked it up on  
AN2: NEED NEW BobbyJohn Beta!!!**

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**Bobby's POV**

That's definitely not normal, it used to be a snowballs chance in hell that John would ever agree with me in the old days. But then again, these aren't the old days and he's not the same old John anymore. He's just sitting there, staring at the wall. I wonder what he's thinking about. Should I tell him about the arrangement? Yeah, I should, but how should I tell him? Alright, Bobby, just spit it out, hopefully he'll listen. I lean uncomfortably against the wall .

"John." He looks right through me, he looks lost.   
"yeah?"  
"There is an catch to you staying here." he tilts his head, his expression saddens.  
"Like what? What could I possible do to any of you?" He asks morosely.  
"Its not that necessarily, but what some of the students could do to you… no one really took too kindly to your leaving for Magneto, or the fact that the last time some saw you, you were with Magneto tossing flaming car bombs at us."  
I try my best to keep my voice devoid of emotion, but its hard not to. He just attempts to lay back down, he flinches as he finally does. Does he need another pill? "So what's the deal?" he asks half-heartedly. I swallow the lump that spontaneously formed in my throat. "Storm said I have to watch over you till your back on your feet and have the others' trust."

He scoffs, and lolls his head to the side to face me. "So, exactly is wrong with me? Aside from these lovely migraines." He probes sarcastically. Finally a trace of the old John. "Like I said earlier, you really got messed up man. Hank says aside from that gash, you got a concussion, two badly broken ribs, and a second degree burn on the palm of your right hand and you scared the shit out of me when I found you, I thought you were going to bleed to death!" He absentmindedly looks over to his hand, its wrapped neatly in gauze. He peers back at me, curiosity sparks in those extinguished brown eyes. "You were worried about me?" he say, in what I think was disbelief. Why wouldn't I be? He's only my best friend…who turned his back on us… why was I worried; its not like I love the guy, is it? No it couldn't be! guilt? I suppose I do feel guilty about hurting him but it was justified right? It was either that or get killed, but then…I almost killed him.

"of course I was! You're my friend." I say quickly. Anger flares in his eyes.  
"Really, even after all that I've done you still call me your friend, _iceman_? You sure have a funny way of showing that you care, seeing as you left me to die on that god forsaken island!" he snaps, flinching slightly. Ok I did deserve _that.  
_ "John, I'm sorry. I don't know how to tell you how sorry I am, I panicked when _Phoenix _started to destroy everything on the island." He looks away.

"hey, John?".  
"what?" he snaps, as he flinches again.  
"How did you get off Alcatraz?" I ask curiously.  
"Not sure exactly, woke up on a piece of debris a little way from the shore. That started to sink, had to swim the rest of the way; and man was that _fun_. Got back to San Francisco and used what little money I had to get some clothes. And I thought that was going to be the hard part; one of the most wanted mutants in the world dropping in to buy clothes and gauze, that's bound to be entertaining. He didn't even realize who I was! Luckily with that junk I was able to go into another shop and grab some hair dye. Lemme tell you; hair dye and an open gash, not the best of friends. Then came the fun task of hitchhiking across the country to the big apple. And…well you know the rest." he explains as he closed his eyes.

"Actually I don't know the rest, what about that crowd of people you torched?" I ask calmly, its hard to keep myself from yelling at him, but somehow I manage. His eyes shoot open. "h-how many?" he asks alarmed. _Surprised he has the nerve to ask _I hear that voice in the back of my head sneer. "News said four dead, six injured." he flinches and looks straight at me.  
"what are _they _doing about that?" he asks warily.  
"Hank said he'd do what he could." he seemed to relax a little.  
"Why did you come back?" that's what I've been wanting to ask since I found him."I guess I wanted to see if you guys would let me come back." he said distantly.  
"And that was when you ran into those two…" I say absentminded.  
"wait, how do you know about them?" he asks tentatively. I told him what happened, he closed his eyes letting everything sink in. "good, at least they got some sense knocked into 'em." he murmurs. He looks so depressed, he really has changed.  
His head tips, like he's falling asleep but his eyes shoot open, almost as if he's reluctant to sleep again. "something wrong?" he looks up at me, he seems exhausted. "Nah, just tired." he even sounds exhausted.  
"then go to sleep, man." he lowers his head dejectedly.  
"Look, I'll be right here." He seems to relax. A little.  
The room was unusually quiet, even for something like this… is unnerving. Just as I go to call his name, the moment was shattered as his hands flew to his head, eyes screwed shut as a pained moan filled the silence. _oh shit! _I grab his pills and the second bottle of water. His breathing's sporadic.

"John, I need you to open your eyes and look at me." "Can't." he forced between breathes. "Room's spinning."  
_ Poor John, this isn't even the worst yet. _"Okay, John, slow your breathing, you're gonna hyperventilate" I say as I remember on of Jean's old health classes. I mentally shake my head, now is not the time to be thinking about _that_. His breathing begins to change, with a twist of the cap I open the pill bottle and quickly shake out two pills. "how bad is it; one to ten." His eyes stay shut tight, "Ten." a terse reply. I tentatively grab his undamaged left hand , he goes rigid. "John, its alright. I'm just giving you your pills." his hand goes limp, I place the two pills in his hand and wait for him to take them. He eagerly pops the two pills into his mouth and reaches out blindly for the water, which I pass quickly to him.

After what seems like an eternity he unclamps his hands from his head and opens his eyes, blinking a few times to get used to the light again. His brown eyes stare in definite disbelief as he takes a cautious breath. "that was….unreal. It just came so suddenly." he breathed.  
His head starts to droop again, he's exhausted and I don't blame him. "John, go to sleep, maybe you'll feel better after a couple hours." I know this is a lie but I say it for John's sake. He shifts, trying to lay back down in his bed. He flinches slightly as he finally lays down. "Thanks man" his eyes start to close. "No problem, Johnny." Those words practically rolled off my tongue. He finally closes those deep chestnut eyes. The rooms silence is broken by his slightly uneven breathing, I always said he seems different when he sleeps. He looks calmer, younger, vulnerable, and dare I say…cute?

Yes, cute would definitely be on the list. I'll admit I've had feelings for John since I met him, but he was straight as a board; was always going around flirting with all the girls of the mansion. That's one of the reasons I started dating Rogue, to keep up the illusion that I was the same. I still feel guilty about using Rogue like that, especially after she took the cure so we could be together. And cant help but feel that had something to do with him leaving in the first place, what am I saying, sure he hated Rogue but he wouldn't leave because of her and me…although we did pay less attention to him, Rogue had a tendency to ignore him and even rag on him whenever he wasn't around (even when he was), almost like she were jealous or something, but that's ridiculous.

I look at him closer, barely realizing that I'm pratically hovering over him. I hold my breath, _do it, kiss him._ the annoying voice in my head chimes. I bit my lip, well, the pills should keep him knocked out, he wont wake up. He'll probably think it was a bad dream at the worst. I lean in and close the gap between his lips and mine, quick and innocent.

**§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§VivaBobbyJohn§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§  
sorry for the crappy-ness. My brain hasn't been able to function well from all the crap in my life. flames will be used to burn incense **


	5. confessions

Rise and fall  
Chapter 5  
confessions

don't own X-men don't shoot me! Or RitzI'm trying as hard as I can to make up these chapters… my brains still sort of fried so forgive any half-assed work. Still looking for a new BobbyJohn Beta, drop me a line if you want a shot.  
the correct way to pronounce Johns name is Sinjin, not Saint John but whatever.

geek squared 1307: does this make it any easier to read?  
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John's POV

Oh.My.God. Did he just? He did! Bobby just kissed me! He probably thought I was asleep already, yet another one of the seemingly useless things I learned from the Brotherhood, the illusion of sleep. A perfect surprise. But doesn't he have _her? _I refuse to say her name, its almost as venomous as her mutation was. She's one of the main reasons I left, but that's beside the point. Bobby "I-have-a-girlfriend-I'm-straight" Drake just kissed me! I can still sense him right there leaning over me, I've always wondered what he tastes like… Yes. I, St. John Allerdyce, love Bobby Drake. I'd never admit it first though. Oh.my.God. Hey have I always sounded like a love sick girl?

Whatever, I only have one shot at this. I crack me eye open slightly, he doesn't even notice, he's still there in a daze. _Now! _I manage to lean up, mostly painless. Thank God for painkillers. He barely registers that I'm awake before its too late, I recapture his lips with my own. I inwardly smirk at his expression, its priceless. I feel groggy, damn it! those pills are starting to take effect, reluctantly I pull away.

"Thought you were afraid to make a move, Frosty." Oh man his expression is priceless, he's just stuck there, jaw practically touching the floor.

"John" Ah, he speaks.

"Yeah?"

"Was that real or are you just pulling my chain?" he asks deadpan, his cobalt eyes probe deep, trying to find the truth.

"Why? Are you?" what? _He _kissed _me _first.   
"Because if memory serves me right, you've dated every girl in the mansion." He ignored my second question, he's avoiding eye contact now… ugh, he's being such a hypocrite!

"yeah well in case you've forgotten you have a girlfriend." I spit semi-venomously. He finally looks at me, his blue eyes seem conflicted. I guess that saying bout eyes being windows to the soul was true after all. My eyes begin to close. His expression softens after I guess finding whatever he was looking for. Damn I'm tired.

"Well, Popsicle. Before I pass out, I might as well tell you," I pause, trying to keep myself awake, he stares at me intently.

"that was real, and I can't tell you how long I've waited to do it." it felt like a sort of burden was lifted from me as I said that. I shift back down in my bed. He visibly relaxes, eyes brighten. Man, I guess it's the same for him.

"Me too John, me too." he grabs the covers and pull them over me, I notice that he's extra careful about my ribs. "Go to sleep John." I try in vain to stifle a yawn. "and no faking." he adds. _Yeah like I could. _My eyes close as I finally fall asleep.

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_ Where the hell…Goddamn it, not this place. I glance around, its my old place, you cant really call it a home, no, home is where you belong, this place was just hell. I tread down the hall, everything's the same as before I got kicked out, see; there down the hall's the broken mirror my so called 'father' punched( because he missed me). I practically gag at the stench of cheap whiskey. that's filling the room, great he's home. You could always tell my 'father' was home by that smell, back from another night drinking. "Sinjin, where the hell are you boy!" Damn I almost forgot about this. Him calling me by my real name is never a good thing. _

_ He staggers down towards the hall, and I hide in the closest room, _my _room. There's not many rooms in this dump, we're broke. I hold my breath, he passes right by my door. That's weird, normally my rooms the first room he looks in. I push my fold up chair over the doorknob just in case. This is my room, barely anything to it, just an old bed, closet, few posters to cover up some of the dingy tan paint, desk and the fold up chair. The lock to my door doesn't work anymore, from getting some of the brunt of his drunken ass. I look down to the floor, the bloodstains still there, I shudder at that thought. "Sinjin, get yer ass out of yer room!" his Australian accent slurred. I freeze. "open this damn door before I break it down!" that wasn't a threat, but I cant move. A quick shoulder ram and my flimsy excuse for a door falls, like I said we're poor._

_ He stumbles over to me with surprising grace for a drunken dumbass, and before I can register it, he grabs my throat and lifts me up. "you did it you bastard, you killed her." he spat venomously. I struggle to reply but he's closing off my airway. "You. You…creature, you killed my wife!" my eyes widen, tears started to form. Finally I can move, I give him one swift kick where it hurts and he drops me like a sack of potatoes. "I didn't kill her you fucking idiot, she overdosed! It was not my fault." to my surprise I still have an accent. He seemed taken aback for a moment before countering. "why do you think she overdosed, she couldn't stand having a freak for a son!" anger boils inside me, I subconsciously reach into my pocket, there it is! My zippo. I flick it open I try to morph the flame to a fireball but…nothing happens. "Ha, what's a matter boy, cant do your little parlor tricks anymore? Your being punished for killing Sarah!" I duck just in time to avoid being punched in the head only to get kneed in the stomach, the pain flared as I fell to the floor, I felt like I was on fire. Tears of pain flow down my eyes. 'Wake up wake up wake up!' I please mentally. I feel a distant hand shake my shoulders. "John, wake up"… Bobby_

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_**

"John, wake up." my eyes flitter open, sure enough there he is. I'm wide awake now, how long have I been out of it?

"yeah?" my stomachs starting to churn.

"you alright?" No I'm not, I feel sick to my stomach. I take a few semi-deep breaths to stave off the nausea.

"no, bathroom." I plead. Thank God he took the hint, he helps me to my feet, taking the place of a crutch. We made it to the bathroom just in time for me to pour what little content in my stomach out. Ugh, like I haven't suffered enough already. Finally it stops, I feebly wipe my forehead with the back of my hand, my stomachs still doing three-sixties. He disappears for a moment then reappears right beside me, holding a couple of pills and a cup of what looks like ginger ale. I look at him questioningly, didn't I just have pills? "Antiemetics. They'll help with the nausea." he said calmly. What is he a mind reader?

"John, your going to have to eat something after you have those, your stomachs empty. You threw up bile" jeez what is he a doctor? Heh, Doctor Drake.

"fine. hey Bobby, how long have I been out of it? " I say roughly, my throat hurts. I take the two pills and down them with the ginger ale.

"just a few hours." He helps me walk back into the room, I sit on the side of my bed. The mere thought of eating something is enough to make me sick again. Hey, When did he get that cabinet? He kneels down and takes out a box of crackers.

"these should help a little" he holds up the box of Ritz, at least he's not expecting me to eat a full three coarse meal. I murmur a quick thanks as he passes me the box. I take a cracker out and nibble it subconsciously, what I don't want to get sick over a cracker. It settles like wet sawdust in my stomach. Ugh, why me? After a few crackers and half a glass of ginger ale I give up.

"cant eat anymore" I say simply, taking one last sip.

"that's alright, when you feel up to it, I'll get you some soup or something." good old Bobby, always looking out for me…well almost always. Cant guard someone always…well you can try. Uh, not another awkward silence…

"so… bobby how've things been since I left?" I ask awkwardly… _smooth John real great conversation starter._

"not so great. Scott, Jean, the Professor…they're gone. Ororo took over as the school headmistress. We finally got new students. Logan's trying to get over Jean's death. Rogue got…cured. that's basically it" he said morosely. Damn this place has changed.

"speaking of Rogue, how are things between you two?" Ack, even saying her name sickens me.

"I don't know John, she's different. She wont leave me alone, well she wouldn't till you came back. Then she confined herself to her room, Kitty's been bringing her food." Wait why isn't he going after her? Why is he here instead of with her, I thought he liked her more…

"why are you here then? shouldn't you be out confessing your undying love for her." I growled. Wait why did I say that? He looks kinda pissed, I think.

"Bobby I have no idea why I said that, I'm sorry"

"Its fine John. Hank said you might have mood swings with the concussion." Fuck, what else does this damn thing cause?

"any other concussed crap you wanna tell me?" damn, again. He sighs. He lists off possible symptoms…what does he memorize these? Well no duh he did. Among the list was uneven pupils, headaches, irritability nausea and mood swings. Well that explains a lot. I put my hand on my head, this is so friggin frustrating. He sits beside me, snakes his arms around me carefully and pulled me into an embrace, I lean into him. I guess this concussion thing isn't so bad, I mean I'm laying here, on my bestfriend and crush. He leans over and kisses my forehead (non bandaged part).Yeah, its definitely not that bad.  
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waddya think? I think I need to work on preslash better… what will happen when Rogue finds out about John's feelings for Bobby…tune in next chapter to find out salute**


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